Birthday Generals

Refereeing Operation CTF and judging Operation Happy Feet:

Amy Middleton (March 6th)

I was born on the same day as Shaq and Michelangelo (the artist, not the ninja turtle--although I have been known for my nunchuck skills). This is no surprise because I have enormous feet and like to paint. Ok, so my feet aren't big and my greatest work was probably a portrait of Jeffery Zeldman (tempera on posterboard), but I was born on the same day as Kiki Dee so you know I won't go breakin' your heart (I couldn't if I tried).

Kimmie Lathana (March 11th)

Oh snap, Joel and Benji Madden (Good Charlotte) were born on the exact same day and year that I was! We're practically triplets! Except, you know, for the whole different parents thing. Bygones. So, I like shopping, Boggle, making lists, hiking, roller-blading (don't hate), and rock-climbing. And there's no way that I would've cheated on Hilary with Nicole. Just saying.

Becca Shim (March 14th)

I was born on Pi Day, which is pretty much the best day to be born for someone who likes numbers and circles. Other people of note who share my birthday are Albert Einstein (you know, the GENIUS) and Taylor Hanson (Mmm Bop). I like to cook and clean and go to bed early and wake up early in the morning. Also, I like celebrity gossip and speaking in Pig Latin. Also, I like to lie just for kicks. Except that part about Einstein and Hanson--that part's true. Also, the part about lying, that's also true...and ironic.

Jen Nuckols (March 20th)

(MORE TO COME)

Collin Smith (March 26th)

I'm not technically a pisces, but since Aries is the god of war, the others decided to let me stay and play. I share a birthday with Steven Tyler, Diana Ross, Martin Short and Leonard Nimoy (to name a few). All that means is that I like to rock, I'm a diva with legs of steel, much of my greatest work has been overshadowed by bit parts and I'm from another planet. Live long and prosper!

CTF Team Captains

Team Blue Captain: TBA

Team Fuchsia Captain:
Richard Gordon-Mary-Kate and Ashley-Jada-Pinkett-Smith

If being a decedent from the Knights of Malta doesn't qualify me as a leader, I don't know what will. Probably my name. Yes, it makes up the the largest portion of my resume and no, I cannot repeat it for you (try and catch it all the first time). A strong leader requires a strong name, or at least a long one. I like to think I qualify with both.
I require the strictest of discipline from my troops. I also require that they are familiar with the work that I have done. Team Fuchsia members need to be astute and able, and have just enough flair to put them in the middle of blue and mauve.

SPECIAL MOVE: The Maltese Hips

*Now recruiting.

Dance-Off Officers

Aja Graves

Aja has been dancing since she was 3, where she debuted as an oak sapling. She has now grown into larger roles, playing sunburst maples and quaking aspens. Aja has a particular affinity to trees, growing up in the "Tree City" of Springville, Ut where she first was inspired by her nickname "Leaf."

Jeff Hofmann

Jeff Hofmann shares a birthday with Hitler, but promises there will be no goose-stepping in his team's routine. Jeff has no formal choreography experience, but as you can see he has been known to wear tights on occasion. Usually, the tights are worn not for dancing but for fighting crime, although sometimes both can be done at the same time. Members of Jeff's team should expect to do a lot of jumps, kicks, hand-jiving and crumping, but they should probably not expect Jeff to do any of those things.

Rachel Smith

All you really need to know about Rachel and her mad hot dance skillz is that she got a B+ in tap dancing from New York University's Tisch School of the Arts. Rachel is the creator of well-known sweet dance moves such as the one-footed-folk-song-stomp and the hang-on-to-your-jacket-lapels-shoulder-shimmy. Also, she loves dancing so much that one time in a lyrical class she got a heart-shaped blister on her big toe (see above). BEAT THAT, SUCKAHS!!!

Collin Smith

From the arguably insane genius that brought you the smash hit DAYglo Cloud Warrior, comes the dance off that'll rock your pants off. Taking inspiration from David Bowie, Zoolander, and that fierce tranny hotmess herself Britney 'funktard' Spears, the Cloud Warrior Crew is ready to kick(ball step) the other teams into the ground. From his early days choreographing the neighborhood orphans into kicklines, recreating the rooftop scene 'Step In Time' from the award-winning Mary Poppins...on actual roofs!, directing an all-bicycle version of West Side Story, and countless music videos with the likes of Lionel Ritchie and Salt 'N Peppa, this young man has proven himself capable of leading anyone into battle royale!! Plans for this massive attack are on super-charged lock down.

We Want You

If you would like to be a Team Captain for Operation CTF, please apply by posting a comment to this post for why you are qualified for the position. Basically, if you are ridiculous awesome, you are qualified. Minimal preparation may be required.